To those of you still fretting over the Oxford Comma dilemma (and who don’t read the Comments – tsk, tsk!), the “august journal” Speculative Grammarian offers the following solution:
Since the OC appears to present more problems of CrossPondian translation than any other form of punctuation, a solution must be found which satisfies users on both sides of the Atlantic. Luckily one is at hand, and in the spirit of international understanding and cooperation, I now offer it to the world at large. Put the darn thing in if you must, but just below the printing line, so that it appears to be there but not there, if you see what I mean. It thus represents either an OC, or an apostrophe belonging to the line below – possibly incorrectly used but nobody’s going to notice that – or a spider high on printing ink. It becomes all things to all men. It is flexible, adaptable, and universally expressive: in other words, it is the perfect form of punctuation.
By Marian Dougan